The Weight of Survival: Impacts of Trauma and Maladaptive Coping
Trauma can have a profound impact on the way a person sees themselves, others, and the world around them. It can disrupt a person’s sense of safety, trust, identity, and emotional stability, often leaving them feeling disconnected from themselves or unsure of who they are.
As discussed in our previous article, [Navigating Trauma: Unveiling the Impact of “Big T” and “Small t” Experiences], trauma can result from a wide range of experiences, and its impact can extend well beyond the original event.
It is common to experience feelings of shame, guilt, fear, anger, or worthlessness, even when the trauma was not one’s fault. Trauma can also affect relationships, making it difficult to trust others, feel emotionally close, set healthy boundaries, or believe that support and connection are safe.
Over time, these experiences can influence self-esteem, confidence, emotional regulation, and the ability to feel grounded or present in everyday life.
Trauma can also affect the nervous system, causing the body to respond as if the danger is still happening, even long after the event is over.
This can look like chronic tension, hypervigilance, fatigue, sleep difficulties, or strong physical reactions to triggers, as the nervous system stays in a state of heightened alertness or survival.
Maladaptive Coping
The emotions and stress associated with trauma can result in maladaptive coping mechanisms – that is, behaviours that provide temporary relief but create longer-term difficulties.
Some individuals cope through avoidance or isolation, steering clear of people, places, conversations, or situations that trigger painful memories. While understandable, this can reinforce fear and make healing more difficult over time.
Others may turn to substances like alcohol, drugs, or process addictions. A significant percentage of those facing addiction have a history of traumatic experiences; trauma creates a disproportionate risk for addiction.
People may also cope by staying constantly busy, overworking, or filling every moment with activity to avoid slowing down enough to process their experiences – outrunning them to the point of relationship breakdown or burnout.
Others may engage in self-harming, risk-taking, or thrill-seeking. Trauma can fuel cycles of rumination and self-blame, leaving people stuck repeatedly questioning what happened or unfairly holding themselves responsible for events outside of their control.
The Why Behind Maladaptive Coping
Why do we cope in ways that harm us further?
There are so many reasons, really. Temporary relief. Numbing, distraction. Reactions we have no control over; our nervous system sending us into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn in an attempt to keep us safe. The list goes on.
Sometimes the coping looks like an unconscious desire to heal the thing that hurt us in the first place by reliving it; by seeking it out either intentionally or without recognizing it.
Maybe our negative core beliefs are telling us we deserve it (even if our best self knows this is absolutely not true).
Maybe our core beliefs are saying that if we push everyone away, they won’t have to feel the weight of what we’re carrying.
Or maybe it could be the familiarity of chaos, dysfunction, or pain. Humans are creatures of habit and we are naturally going to lean into what is familiar – but what feels like the “safety of what you know” is not always necessarily what is safe.
Here’s one seen often:
If I’m causing the hurt, I have some control over it. If I’m causing the hurt, it’s predictable, and it’s mine.
None of these things help us and none of them allow us to move forward in a way that is healthy, healing, and aligned with the good things we deserve.
And the important thing to hear is that even if some of these thoughts or responses are familiar, we can heal and things can change.
Naming It
The good news – our body won’t forget how to keep us safe when we need it to. But living in survival mode 24/7 isn’t healthy or helpful.
One way we can start processing instead of reacting is naming the feelings and sensations that come up when triggered.
Working on our responses often requires identifying what they are and when or how they show up; everyone is different and sometimes noticing the little things really counts.
For example, you may begin to notice that a certain conversation consistently causes your body to tense, that a particular situation brings up a strong urge to withdraw, or that certain thoughts lead to anxiety, anger, or shame.
Recognizing these patterns can be an important first step in understanding how trauma continues to affect us in the present.
Therapy can help work through these reactions, patterns, and behaviours. Trauma therapy can provide a space to explore where these responses come from, understand what purpose they may have served, and begin developing healthier ways of responding.
For individuals looking for trauma therapy in Calgary or elsewhere in Alberta, or for those seeking trauma therapy in Vancouver and the broader BC area, support is available. You do not need to have everything figured out before reaching out.
If you are interested in learning more about trauma and how it can affect your thoughts, emotions, relationships, and sense of self, you can also read our article on [Navigating Trauma: Unveiling the Impact of “Big T” and “Small t” Experiences].
For those interested in exploring trauma-focused treatment options, you may also wish to read our article on [EMDR: Bridging the Past to the Present] and our article on [Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART)].
You’ve gone through the thing already.
You don’t deserve to keep reliving it.
Resources for Substance Use Support
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use, support is available. For information and resources related to substance use in BC, Alberta, and across Canada, visit Health Canada's substance use resources.
Written by Azura Kines
